Letting your conscience go Thursday, October 03, 2013

 


I suspected the recruitment from the start, a kind of invitation into the cool world where a person might get ahead and have a good time at the same time.

All you have to do is let your conscience go.

I guess that’s what the aging members of this society have to do when they find they are no longer at the top of their game and want to stay in the game.

This was Peggy’s problem when I knew her in the strip clubs in Passaic. But she was a solo act and didn’t’ have anyone to pass the reigns to.

But over the last year, the reigns became a noose, and the threat became “Do what we tell you to or else,” and so the new recruit who had already had everything had to scramble to keep even the little gained from crossing the line.

Most of it is sketchy, but the recruit took up duties of the elder member of this oldest society, scheduling the appointments that the older member could not longer keep, or had passed along as set the recruit firmly on the road to – well, to the recruit’s demise.

In this business, recruits rarely last, used up like tissue, especially when the plots are exposed.

The trainer was no longer viable in the new scheme, and soon neither will the recruit.

Such people rarely get what they want or even need, strung along with foolish dreams that they can do this for a while and then get on with their real lives later, failing to understand, by selling this now, they have given away their real lives. All they have is this and will continue on doing this until one day, they decide not to.


email to Al Sullivan

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Take me to the river July 7th, 2013

Image
  I'll go into the possible inspiration later for this poem she posted today for now she is once more delving into the concept of a row isolation and the struggle to retain strength during several years of adversity her geography is located next to a river named after Henry Hudson as she draws on an important metaphor for life as she lives it similar to an earlier poem that had her kneeling beside the sea in order to let things go, she can no longer retain in her life the wide Hudson with its never ending ripples sits on her doorstep a safe place she goes to breathe new life into her war worn bones and hot raw nerves she goes to the river side to keep from bursting what she is full to spilling and to avoid leaking out and wasting the essence of survival she cannot afford to lose the last few years she says have been truly deep and rough like the storms that rip across the river at times I'm strong she writes but sometimes I'm tired on the shore she watches the ships...
Read more

Hoping for the best June 24, 2013

Image
        I feel sorry for everybody involved in this trickle up game, not just the so called victims (we walk into    these things with our eyes open and are taken advantage of only because we have our own lusts we can’t control), but also our poet, who knows no other way of life, and must abide by the rules of a game she finds herself stuck in – and must do what she needs to do in order to retain any sense of self-worth. This is what she is, and this is what she must do. But even at her worst, her poetry suggests she is hardly the rascal the congressman’s PR person makes her out to be. She plays the hand of cards she gets dealt. She sometimes misreads the deck, such as assuming that her chef friend in New York was competent, when he was anything else but that. She also leaped onto the bandwagon when it came to our former temporary boss, assuming he could do more for her than it turns out he could, his temporary condition making him of little more use than a...
Read more

Ships that pass in the night July 9, 2013

Image
  A mentioned yesterday, there is more going on in regard to her latest poem than just the content. Again, we come to the possibility that our posts are somehow some kind of secret communication, wishful thinking on my part, of course, because I know she really hates me. I suspect I am deluding myself with hopeful thinking that she has maintained this one thin thread of communication between us, though this poem adds increasing evidence to that illusion – since I posted a poem that in some respects foreshadowed the one she posted this week. My poem included a video of me wandering a small beach in Jersey City near Liberty State Park, and was intended as a response to even earlier poem about borrowed lives. The poem goes I find no path among these river stones, so I make my own, turning this way then that, side steps that lead me nowhere, then back, my life made up of clumps like these small eddies filled with seaweed and people I need, but never see again when I move ...
Read more