Moved

 

 

Written in March 2013

 

While I love her poetry, I keep going back to her music again and again.

Part of this is because it is so pure in the sense that is has nothing to do with any of the conflicts over the last year, and absolutely nothing to do with me.

This is something voyeuristic, as if I am seeing her in love with someone long, long ago, and taking guilty pleasure in how she expresses some of her deepest emotions.

Not all of her songs are happy, in fact, very few of them are. But I keep going back most often to one that seems to be happier than most, describing soft breezes and sunlight, and the sound of “her” sighs,” moon light and soft seas.

It is almost as if she is describing herself, and her powerful voice evokes tender feelings, even if it is unclear who – if anyone – she is singing to,

“She moves me out of the silence and into the wonders of the night,” and appears to an affirmation that love has the potential for the positive, “how much I can be,” and how she can take control of her own life.

There is a mixture of images, from attributes of character such as honest and truthful, and a more sensuous description of the curves of her face, “fingers that trace all of me right down, the depths of sadness.”

Unlike some of the other songs, it is basically her voice and the piano, which is what makes it seem to special, as if she has sat down and is singing it directly to someone.

While I said happy earlier, it is really not happy, it is a hopeful song, an extremely romantic song but with a slight suggestion that the person to whom she is singing it, is so gentle, and caring and honest and equally sensual that she (the singer) finds herself uplifted, not rescued, but taught how to rescue herself.

I keep coming back to it again and again because of this aspect, even though it is unclear if she is singing to a man or a woman or reflecting some inner turmoil she is trying to resolve. But it clearly comes at a time when she still has hope – even though it is also clear she had been stung.

The song may mean nothing at all, but over the last year, through all of the ups and downs, this song sticks with me as if it reflects the real person inside her, a glimpse of the woman she would like to be.

Who knows?

 

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