Survival of the fittest? January 31, 2013
I think the Cat Woman analogy yesterday was a bit harsh.
She is not like the leather ladies who want weak men to suck
their toes.
She likes strong men over whom she has power to control, not
with a whip and chain, but with just a look.
I suspect everything she does seems to be about control, the
control she wants, control she can’t have, control over others, and perhaps
even the lack of control she has over aspects of her own life.
None of this is as bad as it sounds, even though early on it
shocked me, because I knew less about how the real world worked than she obviously
does.
She has an amazing presence, even she sometimes doesn’t seem
aware of. People gravitate towards her, often unaware that they are doing so.
This may explain why there is such a black hole at the
meeting table where she used to sit, some of her cosmic energy still lingering
there and people – especially men (including myself) keep looking there as if
expecting to see her still seated in that spot.
While she might not be completely conscious of all this, I’m
sure she is aware that most men in any room would want her attention. I suspect she has relied on this cosmic
attraction as a survival tool, and has long become instinct, turning it on and
off on some subconscious level.
It would be dishonest to call this manipulation or compare
her to a spider spinning webs (as some unkind people have). She just does what
comes naturally, right and wrong play not part in it.
That’s why it was unfair to call her Cat Woman. You don’t
criticize a cat in its dealings with mice.
Yet all that said, she seemed to understand better than most
just how awful a world we live in where people might act kind and noble on the
surface, but can’t get passed their most primitive urges, and it is easy to
fall prey and become a victim. She seems to understand that she needs to stay
one step ahead of the pack or fall prey to it.
Instinct!
Until, she arrived at our office, I lived in a bubble,
unaware of the primal forces engaged around me. Even in our tiny universe,
people sought tooth and nail for their piece of the power puzzle.
When she arrived, she apparently instinctively recognized
that all too familiar landscape from having been involved in similar micro
universes. She had already honed the skills she needed to survive, perhaps even
thrive in this environment, and certainly, to avoid becoming a victim.
Instinctively she recognized and reacted to the mechanisms
of power that I was so blind to, and soon adapted herself.
She needs to be in control and to do that, she needs to be
important, and so, we see her making her way up the power grid as quickly as
possible in each place she works, including our place.
Yet, it must have become pretty apparent early on that there
was very little room at the top for her, so she seems to have used it – as she
told the office gossip – as a stepping stone.
In fact, she was much more powerful with people outside our
office, than inside our power grid, power she lost when she resigned, and her
embracing D may well be a way of regaining some of this, controlling the content
of what he covers, giving her importance in her new microcosm where “they” (whomever
the power brokers are) expect her to control the press.
Again, it is difficult to know if she is the one in charge,
or RR, or Joey D or someone else.
But it is clear, she needs to feel important inside that
organization, which means she needs to maintain control.
I have been critical of her in the past, and perhaps
unfairly so.
She is doing what it takes to survive, and calling her Cat
Woman may be an insult, even if she seems to have more than nine lives.
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