Guardian angel? May 8, 2013

 


 

After she posted her recent poem about her friends in Haverton, I went scrambling back to a poem she posted earlier this year that I realize only after the fact that it was about him, too – startling only because I failed to see it my first time analyzing the poem.

This was a poem about her guardian angel, someone she sometimes forgets but is always there for her, even in spirit when she is alone.

Just knowing he is somewhere out in the world comforts her, a guardian angel, who I knew about from last fall, but didn’t put him together with this poem until she posted the new poem last week to him.

The previous poem back in March talked about having his “remembered arms” around her, and I mistakenly assumed (always foolish to assume) that the poem was written to a lover.

In way, he is more than a lover. He is a central figure in her life who lifts her up whenever she falls and bruises her knees., whenever she has “fallen again.” He tells her.

In a previous journal, I referred to him like a brother. But he’s even more than that.

How I could have missed the connection between that poem and him is puzzling, since I knew she fled to him last fall after she quit our office, hoping to have him heal her wounds, something she apparently does every time her life falls apart.

How long this has been going on, it is hard to say. It is possible he has always been there for her from back in those days when they grew up in the same town together.

It is an amazing relationship – and would be puzzling to most people, who might wonder why these two didn’t fall deeply and passionately in love.

But I understood it, because I have a similar relationship with my Cyber Nanny – a woman I grew up with, and have been friends with since Kindergarten.  She was the most popular girl in school all the way through college, a jet set girl, who got let in whenever she went to Club 54, who accompanied millionaires and movie stars in their Lear Jets for weekend jaunts across country.

I was a misfit from the first day I met her and remained that most of my life. Old classmates who saw us together scratched their heads about our association.

Although I was more than a little tempted, we never had sex. A romantic engagement would have ruined what we had.

I’m sure the same is not true with her and her guardian angel. Somehow, they managed to avoid letting it get in the way of their more important relationship.

 

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