Playing with fire May 6, 2013

 


 

Looking back at this point she posted at the end of April, I can't believe I was so stupid as to believe it was aimed at her former lover.

This poem is too full of rage and only after having read the scribe poem (and more recently her shocking poem on fairness), I’ve become aware of a sharp change of direction in her posted poems.

My assumption this was too her lover could not have been more wrong.

While this poem doesn't have the smoking gun piece of evidence (as the scribe poem seems to have) to suggest it was aimed at me, the tone suggest that it is aimed at someone who has enraged her so much she would be willing to destroy herself if it also meant bringing down this person.

This is not the stuff of heartbreak so much as pent up rage and far better fits with the tone and meaning of scribe poem (as well as several others including her fairness) poem than any of the love poems posted during March the most of April.

From the opening line of this poem, she flatly states that this arch enemy is out to get her, to bring her down, yet she tells this enemy it won't happen and warns against his trying to do so or even for him to think of it and as importantly not to breathe it or anything more will not happen.

“You burn me I rise again and again and again you burn I rise until I burn myself,” she writes.

This is one-to-one straight talk, a warning that if her enemy brings her down, she will make sure that her enemy goes down, too.

The poem implies that her arch enemy has been actively conspiring against her to get her I thought originally, she meant romantically—about her former lover, perhaps a desperate reunion. But the work goes deeper, part of an extended conflict in which she believes he has been hounding her and the poem seems to serve as an advanced warning if she if he tries she will make sure he is destroyed too even if it means she is destroyed in the process.

It is impossible from the context of the poem what event caused this reaction yet it clearly comes at an emotionally complex time with her personal life in shambles and a professional life on the brink of collapse. You might think she is looking for a scapegoat to blame and may have resurrected all an old once legitimate issues to vent her rage on.

Because this poem was posted in the aftermath of her romantic breakup I mistakenly assumed it was connected to that.

It was not until she posted the poem to the scribe that I realized my mistake this and the scribe poem are intimately connected. This poem is full of paranoia and assume someone is out to best her and as a standalone poem that could be anyone--  a recent falling out at the office even.

But the scribe poem definitely defines who that person is: another writer who she believes has worked to hold her back, This poem is a warning to that person not to try and how if she goes down she'll take him down with the scribe poem sarcastically thanks him for making her stronger.

I speculated earlier that this might have been inspired by poems I posted and yet it seems it needs to be something much worse, more potent to have set her off in this road of rage, some event or rumor she got wind of that rekindled the old passion for revenge.

This poem implies that her arch enemy has been actually working against her plotting to undermine, her talking to other people about her and this poem issues the dire warning to that person to stop in light scribe poem I assume I am the target of both poems even though I am innocent of any of the things she claims.

There are other poems I need to reexamine and put in this context before I tackle perhaps the most shocking poems I have seen her post to date, about fairness and such. But let me look back first before I go on to that piece of shocking poetry.


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